A few years back, while stationed at F.E. Warren AFB, I was assigned as a supervisor of a "seasoned" Senior Airman (seasoned is saying the person had been that rank for a while). Trying to prove myself as a good supervisor and leader, I followed the Air Force's prescribed techniques and forums to help develop the Airman. I accomplished the necessary feedback, provided my standards and then we set some goals together that would require plenty of follow-up. During the feedback, it was brought to my attention that she was currently on a Unfavorable Information File (UIF). Simply put, she had made some poor choices and the Commander decided it needed to be documented and she needed to make some changes in her life to improve her chances for progression in the Air Force. For all intents and purposes, she was right on track and had done the necessary time in order to have the UIF removed. Queue the overzealous leader (me!).
In my excitement to prove my moxy as a leader and to show the world that I could be the catalyst in her reform, I decided to take up the campaign to get her UIF removed. I retrieved all the background information on the reasons she was on the UIF. I gained the support and blessing of my boss. I studied the process on getting a UIF removed. I even made the appointment with the Commander. The day came and all my hard work was about to come to fruition. We entered the Commander's office, I stated the reason why I was there and in about 5 seconds the Commander said "okay", remove the UIF. I was a little perplexed, but thought, "hey, I am pretty good at this". What I did not realize yet was that the process of getting her UIF removed had nothing to do with me. So I continued my victorious march through the hallways of the building. Chest out, arms back and head held high. The day could not get much better...right?
As I was making my way through the trumpets blasting my praises and my name being called in the arena like the champion of the people, I noticed this seasoned Senior Airman walking down the exact same hallway (lucky me!). I quickly made my way over to her to let her know the wonderful news. I then detailed my glorious battle with the Commander and how I single-handedly was able to convince him to release her from the bonds of this life-threatening UIF. As would seem appropriate, her face changed to show the surprise and excitement this wonderful moment would have on most human beings. She then proceeded to utter the words we all wait for when such an accomplishment and feat had been done on their behalf. "Cool". Yep, you heard that right! "Cool" was the response and dumbfounded was the young leader (me), who appropriately was left standing by himself in the middle of the hallway, trying to figure out what just happened.
It took me some years to figure out my many mistakes here (you might be able to find more). Below is a list of a few I could think of:
1. In the excitement to prove myself, I don't ever recall letting the Airman know what I was trying to do for her or the process involved.
2. I did not do this for the right reason. In fact, I have come to find out that I did not do this for her at all. I did this for my own pride.
3. I thought for some crazy reason that I had something to do with the removal of the UIF, when that responsibility fell on the Commander.
4. I was a whole lotta too proud about the accomplishment and not focused on just doing the right thing for the Airman.
5. Most importantly (to me at least) I was looking for some gratitude from the Airman I had "saved". I felt disrespected and shorted by the "Cool" response.
6.
(The last one is intentionally left blank for you to leave some comments to help me see my other flaws on this one)
I am a staunch advocate that leaders know how to express gratitude and do so on a regular basis. Here is the catch with this...it MUST be sincere. Throwing out meaningless flakes of gratitude will leave you empty and your people starving for a real leader. In order to express gratitude, and do so meaningfully, you need to be a grateful person. If this is not you...change! Leaders find ways to give thanks in the worst of times. They are able to see the silver lining in all challenges. Leaders always have an "attitude of gratitude" (Thomas S. Monson). Leaders do not expect gratitude to be given for their actions. They hope to teach this principle only by example and won't be found standing by themselves in a hallway wondering "what just happened?"
I am grateful for many things today, God, family, Country, friends (the list goes on), but in keeping with the spirit of this message; I am grateful for the Airman who thanked me by saying, "Cool", and the lessons that moment continues to teach me.
I've not heard this story before! Thanks for the reminder to look for the good in every situation and have a grateful attitude.
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